When I first started this blog two years ago I was riding the high of an inspiring photography walking tour in Seattle and I was fueled by mounting adrenaline as I quickly approached college graduation. Photography was an escape and a destination; a means of turning my back on the traditional career route in favor of the exciting prospect of being my own boss and running my own business. This all was happening in conjunction with Christ drawing me deeper into a relationship with him and making me exponentially more aware of the scope of his kingdom and plans. Slowly but surely this blog documented my development as a photographer and as a follower of Christ, and behind the scenes this translated into my growing desire to use photography to glorify God and serve as a testament to his goodness and beauty.
Here’s where I went wrong:
I started to believe that since my photographic aspirations were aligned with God-honoring intentions, everything should just fall into place easily and smoothly almost as if by magic. God does, after all, have a perfect and wonderful plan. All we have to do is walk in it.
But instead of walking in God’s plan I allowed myself to become busied in other tasks, responsibilities, and jobs. I wasn’t walking, I was waiting for God to swoop in like a magician to sprinkle magic fairy dust over everything and make all my dreams come true. A year and a half later, when nothing had changed, I started to doubt God’s plan for me.
Oh, how wrong was I, thinking God is a magician who works to satisfy our every whim.
Part of our walk with God requires
steps, leaps, bounds of faith. This faith is evidence of our trust in God to work out everything for our good according to HIS plan. Not our plan, or our expectations for life, but His plan. I had been so paralyzed by fear of making a mistake or of experiencing disappointment that I wasn’t doing anything to move forward. I wasn’t stepping out in faith because I didn’t trust God, or at least because I didn’t trust God with my plan. The result was nothing short of my feet getting so stuck in the mud that my only choice was to reach up with trusting arms so that God could lift me out of my sterile and controlled environment. The thing about this though, is that I also have to trust that God will place my feet back on good soil. I also have to do my part and take those steps of faith in order to allow God to direct me, realizing that a rejection here or closed door there are merely signposts from God steering me in the right direction.
So I’m taking a step. For a while now I’ve known that in order to really commit to photography in any capacity I needed to pull myself together and invest in a real website with a portfolio that communicates “I’m not just a hobbyist” (because that’s how I was treating my photography and that’s what I was subsequently limited to). I’ve heard it said that a photographer’s website is their handshake, and a photographer’s blog is their voice. Well, I had plenty of voice but I wasn’t making any first impressions. That’s why I decided to suit up, put on my big girl pants, surrender my fear of judgment, failure, etc etc blah blah blah lies lies lies and really take a risk. (Let it also be said that I’m additionally fully committing myself to finding an adult careerish job…hi Mom.)
Today I launched my first official website and I couldn’t be more blessed by the response I received from my family and friends. Thank you ALL for being so supportive of me and encouraging! You are my cheerleaders and I couldn’t run this race without you!
Here’s to taking risks,